I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
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just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
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I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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