Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
