I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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