So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
