We're like a lot better than the average bears
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize