5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
