i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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