Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
