Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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