What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
