just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize