My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
