my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
