can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
