Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
