Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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