my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
