Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Is it because I queefed?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
