:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
