oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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