you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
