I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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