Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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