My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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