We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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