how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
