Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
