too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
