It's like God shit irony all over that family
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
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My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
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She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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