You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
