sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
