well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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