We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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