I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
