Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
