I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
