Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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