She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
