Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
