Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
dude. I can hear the air.
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