office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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