I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
