shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10