Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
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He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
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Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.