just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I need water and some morals