his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
