Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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