it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
