oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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