I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
