you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
