No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize