I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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