It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
