They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
