are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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