So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
