stop calling my apartment porn island.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize