I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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