last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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