did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Success! We fucked roommates!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
