i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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