Can Purell be used as lube?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
