new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
